We Borrow from our Children

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” ~Native American Proverb

In an otherwise horrible movie1 comes, “A [person's] legacy is measured by the gifts he leaves his children.”2

As parenthood approaches these both strike cords with me. I think the greatest gift I can give me child will be demonstrating through my actions healthy, helpful, happy living. Where I fail at this, I can gently share that I know that I fall short, how I feel I fall short, and what I think would be a better way.

That is not to be confused with “I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes as me.” Although we borrow from our children the opportunity for a better us, our children making mistakes is essential to a life well lived. It is their lens (values) that they see the mistakes through that we can help shape and the lessons we learned from our our mistakes that we can share.

All of that won’t be very useful, if I’m not listening to our children.

I feel ill prepared and ill equipped, but I have an amazing partner in Julia, and wonderful family and tribe. I’m up for the journey!

  1. Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire []
  2. I was surprised by the sexism of the original quote in this Disney movie. Though considering it, should I really expect much from Disney? []

7 Comments

  1. Posted February 28, 2008 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

    When is the little one due Lloyd? I think everyone feels ill prepared and ill equipped before their first child arrives - or at least I did. Like you said though, I was up for the journey and it has been a learning experience, but a fantastic one. He never fails to make me smile. Good luck to both you and Julia, I’m sure you’ll love (nearly) every minute of it. :)

    P.S. If it makes you feel any better, I’m feeling even more ill prepared for number two that is due in August…

  2. Posted February 28, 2008 at 7:05 pm | Permalink

    Kevin, mid-April. No, that doesn’t make me feel any better — I do feel great regardless of what I wrote ;-)

  3. Posted February 28, 2008 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for that Lloyd. Sorry to hear that Julia suffered through the stomach flu (my wife Amy just went through that as well) but glad to hear she is feeling better. After reading through her post - if she is that worn out, could she not get a note from her OB to get paid time off work? Just a thought.

    BTW - the ‘baby bump’ photos - they are too perfect to be just random shots - did you set a mark on the floor and use a tripod or something to make sure they are all the same angle, zoom, etc?

  4. Posted February 29, 2008 at 11:19 am | Permalink

    Hi Kevin,

    Thanks for the suggestion. I can now go off work at any time, I can start my maternity leave 6 weeks before my due date, and 6 weeks before is tomorrow! My plans will may adjust and I won’t stay at work till the end of March anymore, just so I can get a little more rest and just focus on the things I want to before babe arrives.

    I just wrote another post, in response to what Lloyd had mentioned to me (I think in regards to your comment): http://blog.julessilver.com/2008/02/29/dont-let-some-of-my-posts-fool-you-im-doing-well/
    I am definitely more tired than I thought I would be, but all part of pregnancy, and I am happy to experience it.

    Congrats on your second on the way :-)

    For the photos - yes there is a mark on the floor, no tripod though so we get the angle a little off sometimes. Next time we will set up a tripod too ;-)

  5. Posted February 29, 2008 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

    Kevin, the baby bump photos have turned out to be a lot of fun. I will admit, I was very resistant at first, but now really enjoy the process.

  6. Posted March 3, 2008 at 1:33 pm | Permalink

    What a great post. As a father of a 2 year old, I can say that this post really hit home. His future is tops on my list of what is important and seeing him grow up so quick lets me know that the time is now, even though he is only two to make a difference so he will not have to struggle thru the same things that I had to. Thanks for the post.

  7. Avatar Eli Goldberg
    Posted April 4, 2008 at 9:14 am | Permalink

    I gotta say, Lloyd, now all I can think of when I see the proverb:

    “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.”

    …is the size of the U.S. federal deficit!

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