Control and Comfort

Ritualistic behavior like you are now witnessing, is your toddler’s way of maintaining control while asserting his new found independence in a safe and worry-free manner.  When your little one is faced with some type of change in his routine, he feels vulnerable, anxious and frustrated, so having control of even the smallest areas of his life right now means more than you’ll ever know.  Being denied the fulfillment experienced through rituals can do a number on your little one’s self-esteem, so remember that what you may see as monotonous, your toddler sees as peace-of-mind, and who’s to argue with a content toddler?  Certainly not me.
Shelley Feldman, “Your 22-month-old toddler (week 93)“, edHelperBaby

The above makes sense, what we suspected, and seems to be the consistent explanation.

“My do it”, regularly insists my toddler son.

The examples of this that stands out to me all relate to eating:

  • He insists on putting the cap back on his milk bottle, so he can remove it himself, before he’ll consider drinking it.
  • Food that he doesn’t want can’t stay on his plate. He puts it on my plate.
  • If his fruit filled cereal bar breaks in two then he earnestly tries to put it back together, and ends up rejecting it in frustration.

Being part of my toddler’s world, witnessing what is instinctual and being part of his learning, gives me incredibly enjoyable and insights.

I feel that being a parent is already making me a better person. My son really is my greatest teacher.

We Borrow from our Children

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” ~Native American Proverb

In an otherwise horrible movie comes, “A [person's] legacy is measured by the gifts he leaves his children.”

As parenthood approaches these both strike cords with me. I think the greatest gift I can give me child will be demonstrating through my actions healthy, helpful, happy living. Where I fail at this, I can gently share that I know that I fall short, how I feel I fall short, and what I think would be a better way.

That is not to be confused with “I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes as me.” Although we borrow from our children the opportunity for a better us, our children making mistakes is essential to a life well lived. It is their lens (values) that they see the mistakes through that we can help shape and the lessons we learned from our our mistakes that we can share.

All of that won’t be very useful, if I’m not listening to our children.

I feel ill prepared and ill equipped, but I have an amazing partner in Julia, and wonderful family and tribe. I’m up for the journey!