Christoph Niemann's illustration of spooning
I don’t remember who gave me the link to Christoph Niemann’s brilliant illustrations1 in “Good Night and Tough Luck”, but often at night this image comes to mind.
It expresses so well my nightly ritual of trying to find a mutually comfortable place for my bottom arm.
My old standard was trying to weave it under her pillow above her head. The trouble with that move was the cold wall my wrist invariably is up against.
The challenges are currently heightened by my wife being pregnant. The slightest variation to her pillow position affects her comfort.
Most recently I’ve been straight arming it at my side, but my arm tends to fall asleep, accelerating my turning over to actually fall asleep.
Where do you put the arm under you?
- Spooning image ’09spooning03.jpg’ by Christoph Niemann. Published September 14, 2009. Original caption “The opposite of a mosquito is spooning: mosquitoes are awful, whereas spooning is super. The one thing I haven’t really figured out is where the person in the back is supposed to put that bottom arm.” [↩]
Try having the person in front (presumably that’ll be her?) move down about 4-6 inches, putting their neck to rest on the upper arm of the person in back?
Good suggestion Apokalyptik. We’ve tried this, and just didn’t really work for our spoons. Maybe, if I was a little taller.
I put my arm straight up under the pillow and then at some point I roll over when I actually want to sleep. It’s disappointing really and a clear design flaw in humans. I bet there’s some reasonable evolutionary advantage (more cuddling = more reproduction) to having some mutation that makes spooning easier.
One idea I’ve had (perhaps this should be my new startup) is to build a bed with a groove for the bottom arm. I don’t think a thin groove that would be enough to slip an arm into would be uncomfortable to lie on. It requires experimentation and the destruction of several mattresses to determine though. Software is easier.
I have two arm placements which seem to offer us minimal pain.
The first is the “arm under her pillow” position. It involves touching the cold wall but the advantage is that it leaves a cushion between your arm and her head. I find this one is more comfortable for me than it is for her. Sometimes she will wake up with a sore neck if my arm isn’t high enough.
The second position involves bending my bottom arm with the elbow pointing towards the headboard with my forearm underneath my own pillow. This position requires sleeping with my body angled slightly “downward” so that my upper arm is slightly below her body, not jutting into it. I find that this method leaves me with a sore upper back if I remain in it all night so I usually end up rolling onto my back at some point.
Congrats on the pregnancy!
This is such a funny post because my husband and i have been dealing with this since we first got married. I just had my daughter last month and this was a major issue when sleeping. I can’t go to sleep unless he “spooned” me and i had a body pillow in front of me under my belly and between my legs. He always complained about his arm falling asleep so he would switch it from under my head where i laid and once i fell asleep he would take his arm and put it over his head.
BTW, congrats on the pregnancy!
I think this problem could be solved along the same lines as this. The hole need not extend all the way through, but just offer a shallow tray slot for your arm.
Julian, thanks! I should have known there was a related xkcd comic!
The cuddle mattress is great!
THOSE AREN’T PILLOWS!
Classic!